Sometimes I just feel like closing my eyes. They seem tired. They take the world outside and build it up inside me. They twist and turn images in my head and make me feel dizzy. My eyes and my brain plot against me and fill my nights with strange dreams. And sometimes I need to take a break from the world. My eyes get fed up with their jobs and beg for rest. They tell me

that it’s time to stop seeing, time to take a deep breath…and let go. At times, the sun hurts them: it’s too bright. Other times, they miss certain faces…so I close my eyes and watch those pictures again. Or maybe an entire movie…Too bad there’s no happy ending. But we have Hollywood to blame for that. And just when I had started to think that having myself is all I need to feel happy. Things got so tangled. I’m like a rag doll, made up of bits an pieces, of strange colors and sewed together badly.

I need to be rescued from myself. I need a pair of powerful hands to hold me and make me all better. Hands that spell “protection” and “tenderness” gently with their fingers on my skin. I need an arm under my head so I can sleep well again. I need so many things…but for now I have to settle with waiting.

“Nooo
Ive gone out of my way
But I’m not free
From this pain I’m breathing
I was a fool to think
someday you would come around…”

Maroon 5 – Rag doll