Filed under "Things I know. Things that make me wonder".

• Andra Zaharia


• 4 Jul 2008

The past couple pf days I’ve been very focused on myself, thinking about what I want, what I need, what makes me happy. And after a quite serious introspection, I’ve found out that there are a series of things I’m sure about and some that still leave me wonder…

• Is it completely wrong to compare people? I am currently using the means of comparison to rank people in my life, but I feel that I’ve become a bit too critical. I try to narrow that new perspective into selectivity, so I don’t fall into extremes.

• I think I know now exactly what I need to be happy, but what if someone/something comes along that can give me a new sense of happiness? Will I be able to see that or will I just keep sustaining my view of happiness?

• It is so strange too see somebody act like I did in a certain point of my life. I thought that it would be nice to have someone that knows the things I like because he likes the same ones, but…it’s getting a bit hard. Was I that overly enthusiastic at the beginning of a relationship? Hm….it sure makes me wonder. Sometimes I was, yes, I admit it. But isn’t a young man supposed to be over that kind of behavior?

• I need the hunt. No relationship is ever going to work for me if the man I’m with will act to available. Although I’m aware that this type of behavior is more appropriate for men rather than women, I cannot help myself. This is the way I need things to be.

• I need a man that can impress me. I need a man that can blow my mind in intelligent discussion, a man that knows his way in life and is working towards something. A man that want to be accomplished. A man that knows what he wants and fights for it. I need a strong man, capable of great things. A man that can make me proud and who I can look up to. I need a man that can posses me, but at the same time let me be. I have to feel him on me from afar and never question his fidelity. I need my man to leave me wanting more…every time. If I have it all, I tend to…you know…get bored. Isn’t that what we all do? I am hard to please, I know, because I need contradicting actions and thoughts to make me complete. I have a contradicting nature of my own. And he doesn’t have to look like he’s trying too hard, because that is definitely not a turn on. And I know it’s not too much to ask. I’ve been lucky enough to have such a man by my side.

• Sometimes younger guys can be more mature than older guys. And I don’t know that probably sounds stupid or really mundane, but it’s unsettling…to say the least.

• I love to play mind games these days. It really works out my appetite for intellectual stimulation.

• I’ve developed a real and palpable sense of self-security and self-trust. I’m pleased with myself, but I also keep pushing myself into developing greater projects for my future. I’m no longer afraid of solitude, because I know that there will always be someone out there, and, hopefully, someone worth the time, wait, energy and love.