A lesson I’ve learned in the past couple of weeks has confirmed one of my relationship-related theories. The truth is, no matter how hard you try and how much of yourself you put into it, you cannot go from friends to lovers successfully. Friendship and love are two dangerous feelings that give an unwanted chemical reaction when mixed and it’s much better to keep them separated.

I’ve tried once and failed. The friendship almost dissolved, but we managed to repair it and now we’re good friends again.

I’ve tried twice and failed miserably.

The third time, well, there was a momentary spark, but it faded away so quickly that we could not get hold of it. But I believe that it is better this way.

I’ve come to believe that I simply cannot have feelings for a person I’ve known for a long time. I need to feel challenged, I need to discover the person next to me. I need intricacy, the unknown. And I don’t have that with a friend. It’s just impossible. I strongly believe that if the spark doesn’t come up in the beginning, it will never become a flame. And where there’s no spark, there’s no relationship.

Some things are better kept silent. One word and a relationship will never be the same again. That’s why it’s advisable to wait, to ponder and then to act. Though they say that in love we should not keep our feelings a secret, it’s better to wait and see if it’s really love or just a spontaneous physical attraction. Of course, a friend knows you and is capable to offer you comfort and security, but…it’s pricey.

Relationships are hard to maintain, especially friendships with a member of the opposite sex, because, at some point, one of the two will feel attracted to his/her friend and complications will start to emerge. I guess I’ve come to a certain point in my life when I can say that I feel emotionally mature (to a certain degree) and I can make good decision. And keeping my mouth shut this time was the best one I’ve made in a while.